The Purpose of Therapy: Becoming a Formidable Human Being
What if therapy is about more than reducing anxiety and depression? Explore how healing cultivates resilient, compassionate, and formidable human beings whose growth strengthens families, workplaces, and communities.
Therapists aren't allowed to be friends with their clients. And for good reason. The therapeutic relationship works because it has boundaries. It exists solely for the client's healing and growth, not to meet the therapist's needs.
That said... Every now and then, a curious thought crosses my mind. If the world ever started falling apart...You know...a cataclysmic event. A global catastrophe. Or maybe just SHTF with limited resources and questionable leadership...
I find myself thinking about many of the people I've had the privilege of walking alongside over the years.
The men and women who chose the courageous work of healing.
Who faced their grief instead of outrunning it.
Who confronted old wounds instead of passing them on.
Who learned to regulate themselves before trying to regulate everyone else.
Who discovered how to repair instead of blame.
Who can tolerate uncertainty without creating more uncertainty.
Who remain compassionate when fear invites everyone else to become cynical.
Who have learned that true strength and genuine tenderness can coexist.
Not because they were my clients. Because they chose the courageous work of becoming more fully themselves. And the world is better because they did.
Over the years, I've had the privilege of witnessing ordinary people become formidable. And by “formidable”, I don't mean intimidating.
I mean grounded. Adaptable. Courageous. Resilient. Compassionate.
People whose character has been forged through adversity.
People who remain steady when everything around them feels unsteady.
People whose presence brings calm instead of chaos.
I sometimes wonder if we've underestimated the true purpose of therapy.
We spend a great deal of time talking about reducing anxiety, depression, panic attacks, trauma symptoms, and emotional pain. Those outcomes matter. They matter tremendously. But perhaps they aren't the whole story. Perhaps one of therapy's greatest outcomes is the cultivation of formidable human beings. Not because therapy magically changes people.
Because people choose the courageous work of facing themselves honestly.
Of grieving.
Of repairing.
Of forgiving.
Of taking responsibility.
Of learning to stay present with discomfort instead of running from it.
Of becoming more fully themselves.
Of course, therapy isn't the only path to becoming a formidable human being. People are transformed through loving relationships, faith, military service, recovery, parenting, mentorship, meaningful work, profound loss, and countless other experiences. Therapy is simply one place where that transformation is intentionally supported. Healing doesn't just change how you feel. It changes who you become. And people who heal don't just benefit themselves.
They become safer spouses.
More present parents.
Steadier leaders.
Better friends.
More thoughtful neighbors.
They hold families together during a crisis.
They create calm instead of chaos.
They choose repair over division.
They remain compassionate when others become cynical.
They face adversity without losing their humanity.
Those are the people I'd want more of in the world.
Because every person who chooses the courageous work of healing changes more than their own life.
They change the emotional climate of a marriage.
The culture of a workplace.
The trajectory of a family.
The future of a child.
The strength of a community.
Perhaps that's what therapy is really about.
Not simply reducing suffering, but cultivating formidable human beings whose healing ripples outward into the lives of everyone they touch.